Happy Memorial Day, everybody!
Some very good friends of ours, Gay and Joan Hudson, have just celebrated their 61st wedding anniversary!! They are members of our church and just wonderful examples to our lives. Recently, I interviewed Gay to find out what it is like to have been married that long to such a special person. Here are some of those edited comments:
Q: How long did you and Joan date before getting married?
A: We were in the same circle of friends and knew each other for quite a while (maybe two years or more) before we actually started dating. Then, once we started, it was not long before we began talking about getting married in two or three years since we were both in college at the time. It turns out we were married in four months and finished college as a married couple--with one beautiful daughter. NOTE: We were not intimate until our wedding night!!
Q. How did you happen to propose to her?
A. I actually did not happen to propose. Instead, we talked about it, decided it was right for us (even though we were just kids), and I asked her father for her hand in marriage. His main caveat was that we graduate from college. We DID!!
Q. What kind of premarital advice (if any) did you receive before your wedding? Do you recall any particular words of wisdom?
A. The only marriage "counseling" we received was individually from our parents....and my grandfather. Words of wisdom offered:
Q: How long did you and Joan date before getting married?
A: We were in the same circle of friends and knew each other for quite a while (maybe two years or more) before we actually started dating. Then, once we started, it was not long before we began talking about getting married in two or three years since we were both in college at the time. It turns out we were married in four months and finished college as a married couple--with one beautiful daughter. NOTE: We were not intimate until our wedding night!!
Q. How did you happen to propose to her?
A. I actually did not happen to propose. Instead, we talked about it, decided it was right for us (even though we were just kids), and I asked her father for her hand in marriage. His main caveat was that we graduate from college. We DID!!
Q. What kind of premarital advice (if any) did you receive before your wedding? Do you recall any particular words of wisdom?
A. The only marriage "counseling" we received was individually from our parents....and my grandfather. Words of wisdom offered:
"Don't rush into physical intimacy."
"Never go to bed angry with an unsettled matter dangling."
"Always consider each other's feelings and treat one another with kindness and respect."
Q. What do you see as the biggest challenge, in general, of two people learning how to live together in a marriage relationship for the rest of their lives?
A. Always remember that they are two unique individual personalities with different perceptions and approaches to many events in life. There will be necessary compromises that serve both as equally as possible. There can never be "my way or the highway."
Q. How important is a spiritual foundation to your marriage?
A. We both came from a family/church background and that has been the foundation of our marriage. As we have become more "seasoned", we have found faith to be even more important in our every day lives--and in the raising of our children (and their rearing of our grandchildren, all of whom are faithful Christians today).
Q. What has been the biggest surprise of your married life together?
A. The biggest surprise was how totally fulfilling a solid marriage partnership can be. You marry hoping for the best--and when God steps in and adds His blessing to the union, it becomes awesome.
Q. What has been the biggest joy?
A. The biggest joy in our life together has been (and is) the three daughters God placed in our care. That joy has been compounded by seven outstanding grandchildren and one great-granddaughter.
Q. What would be your number one piece of advice that you would give to young couples considering marriage today?
A. Always put your spouse's welfare, dreams, wishes and self-worth ahead of your own and constantly let her or him know how important they are to your life and happiness--and let them know how much he or she is loved.
I'm grateful to Gay for his candid responses to my questions. I'm even more grateful for his example of 61 years of faithful marriage. What a badge of honor! I'd say my wife and I have a long way to go, but it's a great goal worth shootin' for!
Thanks, Gay and Joan....and Happy Anniversary!!
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