When Billy Graham was asked what was the secret of his more than 60-year marriage to the late Ruth Bell Graham his response was often, "Ruth and I are happily incompatible." Ruth, who passed away last June, was a strong, fiery and witty complement to the more diplomatic Billy and they certainly had their disagreements. But they had a satisfying and committed marriage in spite of their different personality styles.
David Neff, editor of Christianity Today, tells of a column titled "Needed: Incompatibility" that Ruth wrote September 18, 1981 for that magazine. In the column, Mrs. Graham made it clear that incompatibility was needed in every marriage and was hardly a reason for divorce. She added that "every man needs to be disagreed with occasionally." Her opinion was without a disagreement here and there a man's personality, ego and even his judgment will suffer.
In that same column, she inserted a funny story. She told about having lunch with several friends while their husbands played golf. One "older companion" shared her secret to a happy marriage: "We never do anything together," the woman said, "except sleep together", she added with an uncontrollable laugh.
When the husbands rejoined the wives after their game, Mrs. Graham couldn't help noticing the obvious affection the other woman's husband displayed publically. "Three cheers for incompatibility!" she trumpeted in conclusion.
Don't be discouraged by differences with your spouse. On the contrary, learn to embrace and celebrate those differences. Some of the most happily married people I know don't agree on a whole host of issues. Incompatibility can actually be the spice of life. Turn toward each other and enjoy the extra kick (no pun intended)!