After The Storm

It's no secret that Houstonians and people all over the upper Texas coast have suffered some devastating effects recently from Hurricane Ike. While, at this writing, many people in the city still don't have power, many area homeowners have made some early assessments of storm damage to their property. For a lot of families, the decision to jump right into clean-up mode of their homes and property was an easy one. In fact, for many, while waiting for power to return, clearing debris and making minor repairs gave those families a needed project--something they could proactively do to get their lives back to normal.

For other folks, the devastation has been much more severe. For instance, many homes that originally existed on Bolivar Peninsula, north of Galveston, prior to the storm, no longer exist. They have been blown away completely, leaving nothing but a foundation. Obviously, the only choice those families will have is whether or not to rebuild those houses.

Over the course of time, massive storms hit marriages, too. When a big storm blows hard against a marriage, there can also be devastating results. Storms against a marriage might come in the form of job loss, an affair, a serious illness, perhaps even a death in the family. However, sometimes, even when something traumatic happens to a marriage, the damage can remain minimal. Those couples in those situations might benefit from merely tidying up a bit, maybe purging some of the debris of an unhealthy relationship. Working together, that couple can probably repair the damage themselves and become stronger as a couple in the process.

But what do you do when your house seems to be blown away completely? What happens when there seems to be nothing left of your home after a major storm? Good question. If there's a strong foundation remaining, a more dramatic decision can still be made together--whether or not to rebuild. Obviously, rebuilding a home from the ground up is a much more challenging project. But families do it all the time. Rebuilding certainly requires more work. It usually requires assistance from professionals. And rebuilding requires a long-term, big-picture approach along with a lot of patience and faith. But the benefits of rebuilding can be so worth it. The end result can be a more beautiful home that is stronger and better built than it ever was.

Caring for a loving home is a great responsibility and privilege--and it's always hard work. Hang in there to do what you can to make the most of the blessing you have been given. Be proactive to do what you can to keep your home strong and in good repair.

How To Have a Healthier Marriage

An amazing fact is that any couple that together wants to grow their marriage can take their relationship to another level. Sometimes couples want to improve their marriage themselves but don't always know how to get started. The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center has published a list of ten tips you can use to strengthen your marriage:

1. Spend Time with Each Other - Simply stated, married partners need time with each other in order to grow strong together. Plan regularly scheduled date nights and weekend activities. Forget the "quality vs. quantity time" discussion--healthy marriages need both.

2. Learn To Negotiate Conflict - Conflict is a normal part of a relationship. There is a point however when it can increase in in intensity and become emotionally and sometimes physically unsafe. There are many resources available to help you learn how to deal with conflict more effectively.

3. Show Respect for Each Other at All Times - Treating your partner as you would like to be treated will do a lot to strengthen the bond between you. Research shows that nothing can damage a relationship quicker than criticisms and put-downs. Paying your partner a compliment is a quick and easy way to show them respect.

4. Learn About Yourself First - Many partners enter into relationships without knowing enough about themselves. As a result they can also have difficulty learning about their partners. Imagine the intimacy you will share over a lifetime together if you commit to discovering new things about yourselves and each other!

5. Explore Intimacy - This does not always mean sexuality. An often forgotten aspect of intimacy is the emotional type. Learn the difference between emotional and physical intimacy and when each one is most appropriate.

6. Explore Common Interests - Doing things separately is not bad at all but common interests are important to healthy marriages. A common interest may be cooking or eating new foods together, going for walks or playing cards. The goal is to have something outside of your family that you both enjoy.

7. Create a Spiritual Connection - Growing together spiritually may the most important bond that you can create together as a couple. Learning how to pray together is a very intimate and binding experience.

8. Improve Your Communication Skills - You should never assume your partner knows what you are thinking or feeling. Tell your spouse what is going on--and as a spouse, know when to simply listen.

9. Forgive Each Other - If he or she hasn't already, your partner is going to do something that hurts, frustrates or upsets you. Guess what, you are going to do the same thing! Try to allow your partner some room to make a few mistakes. When you make a mistake, act quickly to apologize and fix problems.

10. Look for the Best in Each Other - When you met your partner, you fell in love with some of his or her wonderful qualities. Over time your view of those qualities may have changed. Create a list of all the things you love about your partner. It will help you to fall in love all over again!

David Jones, a Certified Family Life Educator and author of a variety of relationship tools for fathers, contributed to this tip sheet. These tips are designed to assist couples in improving their relationships; however, they are not meant to be a substitute for professional help and advice.