It's so frustrating when you are in a struggling marriage and it seems that you are the only one fighting for the relationship. It stands to reason--nobody wants to be working on a relationship alone. But if this scenario fits you, one thing is absolutely clear: negative behavior only makes the situation worse. Let's say that your marriage is in a bad place--and you are convinced that your spouse is never going to change...or that your marriage will never ever improve. If you are 100% convinced of that, then you've thrown the towel in already. Please don't go there. Believe it or not, there is always hope for a better marriage!
Do resist the temptation to manipulate the other party into "behaving" and complying with your wishes. That kind of response from you is only going to drive the other person farther away. In fact, I've never once seen that approach work. Nor does nagging, begging or fit-throwing. A better plan is to start praying. Now is the time to surrender control. God knows your situation--better than you do, actually. And don't forget, He is all-powerful--powerful enough to create the world, right? So, clearly, it is definitely within the realm of God's capabilities to help you and your spouse in your marriage. But you have to faithfully believe that fact. You have to be totally convinced that nothing is impossible for God.
I've seen miracles of marriage restoration before. Impossible situations that dramatically reversed. Those kinds of miracles are in the hands of Someone who can move mountains. So my advice is to let Him! Meanwhile, what can you be doing from a practical standpoint? You can focus on this simple game plan: do the right thing! No matter what else is currently happening in your marriage, control what you can control. I'm guessing that things are currently in a bad emotional state right now if your marriage is suffering. But the good news is that with God's help, you can always control yourself. You absolutely cannot control your mate, but you can control yourself. Make sure that you are doing all you can do to respond with mature, honest and graceful behavior.
In all the situations where I've personally seen a bad marriage turn around, there was always someone that was praying fervently for that marriage. Why don't you be that person? Pray in faith, believing that good things will happen in God's timing. Moreover, get close trusted friends to be praying as well. By the way, Kellie and I would be more than happy to be praying for your marriage. You may email us at thehursts@homeencouragement.org
Remember that even in those times in your life when you feel like you are totally alone, you are never alone! So resist the inclination to try to save your marriage yourself.
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