It's a Tough Job, But Somebody's Got To Do It!

Most of us don't go into our marriage experience doing a whole lot of talking about our sex knowledge (or lack of knowledge). That's unfortunate because healthy discussion in this area can go a long way towards a more complete and satisfying marriage. Jim Burns says that many of the more common reasons for a lack of satisfaction in sex matters have really nothing to do with age, marital status or physical fitness. Just like any other component of marriage, physical intimacy can either be only a functional part of the relationship or it can be a deeply meaningful form of expression. This difference is in how much work a couple is willing to do together.

Dr. Cliff Penner and his wife, Joyce, are sex therapists who have written many books on sex education and sexual enhancement for married couples. Here are some of their suggestions:

-Remember that our sexuality is a gift from God--embrace the gift!

-Sexual pleasure within marriage is encouraged--don't ignore the problems. Make sex a priority in your marriage.

-Keep "mutuality" as the central force of your "sexuality"--we are expected to give ourselves to each other in marriage. Husbands and wives have mutual rights and responsibilities in the area of sex.

-Do all you can to resolve "body image" problems--each spouse needs to bring a healthy self-image into the bedroom, or your sex lives will suffer.

-Get to know your own body--understanding how your body works and what uniquely influences your sex drive will definitely improve the quality of your physical intimacy together.

-Allow for "couple time" regularly--one of the best ways to get "in the mood" for sex is to simply spend a lot of time with your spouse...so make that a priority!

-Clear out distractions--the more you have on your mind, the less you'll be interested in physical intimacy with your spouse. Ruthlessly eliminate stress and distractions in your home.

-Have fun!--Sex was created by God for the enjoyment of a man and woman in marriage. Enjoy it!

A good place to go for more information about sexual issues in marriage is the website of Clifford and Joyce Penner and Associates: www.passionatecommitment.com