I wonder how many times I've heard these words from a couple: "We couldn't be more different!" Well, duh! Of course you're different! The cliche about opposites attracting one another is more than a cliche. It's just reality. Get over it. In fact, I don't think I've ever met a couple who was even close to being like each other! Now, of course, if you're in a marriage, you aren't going to be completely different from each other. Maybe you have similar interests. Perhaps you share a quirky sense of humor about goofy things. Maybe you even both like to collect foreign tennis balls. But for the most part, spouses are radically different from each other. This is no social crisis.
In most cases, those things that are different between the two of you are so attractive when you are dating. And then, ironically but typically, those same things that are different start becoming so annoying in your first few years of marriage. But the good news is that if you will extend grace to each other--truly be patient with one another all throughout your relationship--something will inevitably happen. You will start embracing those previously annoying differences. They will gradually cease to be irritants. And you might even be surprised to learn that you start becoming more and more like each other over the years--even switching some aspects of your personalities! The messy one starts acting neater. The neat one becomes more relaxed about perfectionism. Ah, the mysteries of marriage.
The subtle art of trying to change your spouse to become more like you is not that subtle. Do yourself a favor--give it up. Remember: variety is the spice of life. Viva la difference!
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