Put Down The Timer

I (Brett) remember when instant oatmeal was first introduced (1966). Several of us in our family were big oatmeal eaters so that was big news for us! Wow...what a timesaver this new concept would be. Suddenly, we had a reasonable hot breakfast alternative, timewise, to consider for hectic school mornings. We were no longer limited to cold cereal and the three-minute egg.

Today everything is instant--coffee, fast food, ATM machines, internet information.....we even have instant tanning! This has fostered somewhat of a spoiled attitude for a lot of us. Put simply, we want what we want....and we want it now! Unfortunately, marriage most certainly does not work like that. In fact, a loving relationship couldn't be more opposite in nature. A successful marriage demands that you develop a lifestyle of patience and grace--which, actually, is quite a good thing. We could all use more practice in developing those traits of humility. And most likely, our daily lifestyles are not conducive to the learned art of slow and deliberate patience.

Anytime you have two people living in the same household, you are undoubtedly going to have irritations. More specifically, there will be daily situations where you can't expect instant gratification. Again I will repeat: In marriage there are daily situations where you can't expect instant gratification. In fact, just the mere art of learning to share the same bathroom or kitchen can take some couples a lifetime to learn--but, you know, that's part of the intriguing journey that lifelong couples enjoy together. So chill out!

My suggestion is to enjoy the roller-coaster ride together--that is, life's exciting ride of ups and downs. Day-to-day irritations and delays may currently stress you out....but, to be honest, that's your choice to respond in that way. A better plan than drowning in stress would be to pray for patience. Remember, patience is a gift of the Spirit. Since God's gifts are always outstanding and fulfilling, that means that gifts of the Spirit are always worth asking for. (See Galatians 5:22-23 for some other satisfying gifts!)

Mark my words, God will give patience to you when you ask for it....a little at a time, of course. If you're willing to hang in there and wait for the "good stuff" with your spouse, pray....it will come. It may not arrive in exactly the way you think it should.....or even when you think it should. But it will come. After all, there is no one that keeps promises better than the Lord.

So put your timer aside. I speak from hard-earned experience on this one.