We believe that everyone needs caring mentors and good role models in their lives. We are so very blessed that Cletus ("Cowboy") and Bets Davis are one of those special kind of couples for us. They are dynamic people who have been mentoring couples for many years now and they have been directly inspirational in their support of our efforts to encourage marriages. At the end of next month, Cowboy & Bets will celebrate 50 years of marriage together. Here is the first portion of a recent interview that we had with them about their lifelong relationship and selfless ministry:
So how long have you two been together in marital bliss? And has it all been blissful?
Bets: We've been married for 50 wonderful years, August 31, 2007! But I think the term "marital bliss" is an oxymoron. It is also a myth! The real world of marriage has joys and sorrows, passion and pain. I've heard it said that marriage math is "one sinner plus one sinner equals double trouble under one roof!"
Cowboy: Has it all been blissful? It was blissful for me in the beginning but probably not as blissful for Bets. I was eager to be married to my dream of a lifetime! When we were first married, I was working in Lafayette, Louisiana as a geologist. Imagine, moving my new bride a thousand miles away from family and friends to Cajun Country where she had a new name, no friends, and did not know a soul, other than her husband. As a result, she was relegated to stay at home until she found employment, while I went off to work. I simply picked up where I left off as soon as I returned from our wedding trip--back to my office surrounded by friends and fellow workers. So in the beginning, it was bliss for me but a major adjustment for my bride!
What motivated you to get married?
Cowboy: I had met the girl of my dreams! Bets had all the qualities and attributes I had ever hoped for in a wife. I was so in love that I wanted to marry her on our first date! In fact, I told her that I loved her on that date and it scared me to death. I was moving too fast and realized that I might scare her away or she would think I was a phony! So, I never again told her how much I loved her until about the time we became engaged.
Bets: We were "in love"! Cowboy Davis had all the qualities that I was looking for in a lifetime mate.....gentleness, kindness, great sense of humor, intelligence, and ambition....and most importantly, a man who loved God.
Cowboy: While we were dating, on her 21st birthday, Bets was visiting me and my family in Houston. This was critical because she now saw who I really was and where I came from. She and I went to Hermann Park where I told her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life making her happy. I was proposing marriage to her and it went right over her head. Even though my proposal was indirect, I had hoped she would think it was more than just a nice thought!
What were your early expectations?
Bets: I truly believed that our lives would be like June and Ward Cleaver's! Cowboy was my romantic knight in shining armor! Roles were clearly defined in my mind. I was certain that Cowboy would do all those things that husbands did, and I would do what wives did. Ha! We never talked about our disappointments in the expectations of rules and roles we had in our minds for one another.
Cowboy: Also, we had never discussed our religious beliefs before we were married. I assumed Bets was Christian because she had been to an Easter sunrise service with me. She went with me because this was the earliest she had ever had a date! Wow, we were very spiritually naive and didn't know it. Knowing Jesus Christ personally and understanding what that means was not even in our thinking. We joined the First Presbyterian church of Lafayette because it looked like a New England church, had a steeple, and was made of red brick.
My expectations of marriage were minimal. I had no idea what marriage was supposed to be except from what I saw in the movies and what I learned from my parents. Early on, we had already exceeded the example that I had seen at home growing up. Bets and I loved each other and, up to this point, had never had an argument. Boy, did I have a lot to learn!
What were the biggest surprises you encountered regarding marriage in your early years?
Cowboy: My biggest surprise was to find out that Bets was not as happy as I was about being married. Here I was on "cloud nine"--meanwhile, she was struggling to adjust to a man who was new in her life, a new town, a new name and meeting all kinds of new people. She was confronting a life filled with big changes.
Bets: The biggest surprise was actually seeing more clearly the great differences in our backgrounds and personalities. We were two independent persons forming a way of life together and learning to adjust to each other's ways was a challenge.
Cowboy: During the first few years, we were both learning to be sensitive to each other. We were learning how to communicate and how to resolve conflict. And then....along came our first child!
This interview will continue in a later post. Thanks to Cowboy and Bets for the first portion of their fascinating and genuinely real story behind their lifelong marriage.
So how long have you two been together in marital bliss? And has it all been blissful?
Bets: We've been married for 50 wonderful years, August 31, 2007! But I think the term "marital bliss" is an oxymoron. It is also a myth! The real world of marriage has joys and sorrows, passion and pain. I've heard it said that marriage math is "one sinner plus one sinner equals double trouble under one roof!"
Cowboy: Has it all been blissful? It was blissful for me in the beginning but probably not as blissful for Bets. I was eager to be married to my dream of a lifetime! When we were first married, I was working in Lafayette, Louisiana as a geologist. Imagine, moving my new bride a thousand miles away from family and friends to Cajun Country where she had a new name, no friends, and did not know a soul, other than her husband. As a result, she was relegated to stay at home until she found employment, while I went off to work. I simply picked up where I left off as soon as I returned from our wedding trip--back to my office surrounded by friends and fellow workers. So in the beginning, it was bliss for me but a major adjustment for my bride!
What motivated you to get married?
Cowboy: I had met the girl of my dreams! Bets had all the qualities and attributes I had ever hoped for in a wife. I was so in love that I wanted to marry her on our first date! In fact, I told her that I loved her on that date and it scared me to death. I was moving too fast and realized that I might scare her away or she would think I was a phony! So, I never again told her how much I loved her until about the time we became engaged.
Bets: We were "in love"! Cowboy Davis had all the qualities that I was looking for in a lifetime mate.....gentleness, kindness, great sense of humor, intelligence, and ambition....and most importantly, a man who loved God.
Cowboy: While we were dating, on her 21st birthday, Bets was visiting me and my family in Houston. This was critical because she now saw who I really was and where I came from. She and I went to Hermann Park where I told her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life making her happy. I was proposing marriage to her and it went right over her head. Even though my proposal was indirect, I had hoped she would think it was more than just a nice thought!
What were your early expectations?
Bets: I truly believed that our lives would be like June and Ward Cleaver's! Cowboy was my romantic knight in shining armor! Roles were clearly defined in my mind. I was certain that Cowboy would do all those things that husbands did, and I would do what wives did. Ha! We never talked about our disappointments in the expectations of rules and roles we had in our minds for one another.
Cowboy: Also, we had never discussed our religious beliefs before we were married. I assumed Bets was Christian because she had been to an Easter sunrise service with me. She went with me because this was the earliest she had ever had a date! Wow, we were very spiritually naive and didn't know it. Knowing Jesus Christ personally and understanding what that means was not even in our thinking. We joined the First Presbyterian church of Lafayette because it looked like a New England church, had a steeple, and was made of red brick.
My expectations of marriage were minimal. I had no idea what marriage was supposed to be except from what I saw in the movies and what I learned from my parents. Early on, we had already exceeded the example that I had seen at home growing up. Bets and I loved each other and, up to this point, had never had an argument. Boy, did I have a lot to learn!
What were the biggest surprises you encountered regarding marriage in your early years?
Cowboy: My biggest surprise was to find out that Bets was not as happy as I was about being married. Here I was on "cloud nine"--meanwhile, she was struggling to adjust to a man who was new in her life, a new town, a new name and meeting all kinds of new people. She was confronting a life filled with big changes.
Bets: The biggest surprise was actually seeing more clearly the great differences in our backgrounds and personalities. We were two independent persons forming a way of life together and learning to adjust to each other's ways was a challenge.
Cowboy: During the first few years, we were both learning to be sensitive to each other. We were learning how to communicate and how to resolve conflict. And then....along came our first child!
This interview will continue in a later post. Thanks to Cowboy and Bets for the first portion of their fascinating and genuinely real story behind their lifelong marriage.
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