I (Kellie) get the benefit of hearing many different women comment about their husbands. Sometimes I get to hear great comments like "He did the nicest thing for me the other day ..." or "Can you believe it, he just wanted to cuddle". But unfortunately, I hear many sad comments like "He just doesn't seem to get me" or "He's not really interested in seeing our relationship grow". Dr. Hurst's diagnosis? In a lot of these cases, these women are temporarily suffering from "Prince Charming-itis". Somewhere along the way, we women believed that once we found "Mr. Right", all would be right with the world because our man would take on the task of meeting all of our emotional needs. Wrong! There is no man on earth who could possibly meet that monumental task.
When I was a little girl, I was well versed with all of those wonderful fairy tales ... especially the one with the cute guy on the white horse who would ride into town, stop everything, and gaze into my eyes (um ... I mean, Cinderella's eyes!) and make everything right. But here is what I've learned about "Brett Charming" after a couple of decades of marriage ...
1. I cannot place all of my emotional eggs in his basket. It is completely unfair of me to expect my husband to be my end-all. He won't be able to do it, and I set him up to fail when I expect him to.
2. My husband is really busy with a lot of other important things ... like working very hard for our family. To place him on the pedestal of being the all-knowing Master of Meeting Emotional Needs is quite unfair.
3. Andy Stanley (a pastor from Atlanta) says that men think of their marriages like a good car. They just want it to work ... they don't want to have to work on it every weekend! This doesn't mean that our guys can't learn to be more emotionally involved - it just means that they're not wired the same way we girls are.
So let's cut the guys a little slack. It's a great place to be when you can look at your husband in all of his "man-ness" and be thrilled with who he is. Perfectionism has no place in marriage. Ladies, when your man falls off that white horse, hop back up there with him and hold on for the ride of your life!
When I was a little girl, I was well versed with all of those wonderful fairy tales ... especially the one with the cute guy on the white horse who would ride into town, stop everything, and gaze into my eyes (um ... I mean, Cinderella's eyes!) and make everything right. But here is what I've learned about "Brett Charming" after a couple of decades of marriage ...
1. I cannot place all of my emotional eggs in his basket. It is completely unfair of me to expect my husband to be my end-all. He won't be able to do it, and I set him up to fail when I expect him to.
2. My husband is really busy with a lot of other important things ... like working very hard for our family. To place him on the pedestal of being the all-knowing Master of Meeting Emotional Needs is quite unfair.
3. Andy Stanley (a pastor from Atlanta) says that men think of their marriages like a good car. They just want it to work ... they don't want to have to work on it every weekend! This doesn't mean that our guys can't learn to be more emotionally involved - it just means that they're not wired the same way we girls are.
So let's cut the guys a little slack. It's a great place to be when you can look at your husband in all of his "man-ness" and be thrilled with who he is. Perfectionism has no place in marriage. Ladies, when your man falls off that white horse, hop back up there with him and hold on for the ride of your life!
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