Don't Get Caught In The Web

The Internet brings the average family so many countless advantages....or does it? According to a recent American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) newsletter article by Dr. Mark R. Laaser, author of Healing Wounds of Sexual Addiction, pornography accounts for 7% of the 3.3 billion Web pages indexed by Google. That's a phenomenal statistic with tremendous repercussions for our nation. As a pastor who deals constantly with families, I (Brett) am convinced that sexual addictions are one the most destructive forces that can come against marriages. Moreover, Internet pornography is producing the fastest growing forms of sexual addiction.

What are the consequences of chronic exposure to illicit Internet images? Dr. Al Cooper finds that men that frequently look at pornography:

1. Develop unrealistic expectations of women's appearance and sexual behavior.
2. Have difficulty forming and sustaining relationships.
3. Have trouble feeling sexually satisfied.

Kellie and I are parents of teenagers. As parents, we have prayed throughout the years that our children would get "caught" early in any kind destructive patterns that would harm them (yes, we want them to get caught--and they have)! Even though they have not always appreciated that at first, it actually has turned out to be a blessing to them. After all, in the long run, getting exposed early in the early stage has allowed our kids to not to have to deal with the greater consequences further down the road of perdition, if you will.

In that same way, this kind of prayer might not be a bad prayer to be praying for your spouse, as well! But even getting "caught" early in this game can bring problems. Because sexual addiction is no game. It is like playing with wildfire--and produces so many negative responses. After learning of their husband's behavior, many wives understandably feel betrayed. Inevitably, their ability to trust their spouse often diminishes. Anger and depression can follow. Consequently, marital conflict has the potential to increase significantly as a result--frequently without resolution.

Other manifestations of this dangerous trap can be sexual anorexia, excessive plastic surgery in an attempt to then attain the "perfect" body, as well as the addicted person mindlessly being tethered to their computers, robbing families of fathers--or even mothers! It should be also noted here that women and men having illicit sexual conversations in chat rooms can be considered a comparable addiction. All of this type of behavior can result in extramarital affairs, which can be a superhighway to separation and divorce.

Solutions to this very serious problem?

-Have people in your life that will keep you accountable--people that are, honestly, not impressed with you, so to speak, but rather friends that love you enough to ask you the hard questions and pray for you.

-Put an effective filter system on your computer systems at home and work. In our view, it is too easy to be exposed to destructive and addictive images to take this lightly. The same is true for your children. BSafe Online is one of several good companies that make good products that will help your family.

-If you are struggling with this issue (and many are) get help immediately by talking to a pastor, professional counselor, or specialist.

-Another consideration is an excellent website that has extensive help available: Pure Intimacy. It has a tremendous amount of resources available related help for this issue.

-Finally, pray for the strength to be obedient to God's plan for your life. He loves you greatly, He loves your family as well, and He most definitely does not want you to be trapped or destroyed by any addictive behavior. And He will always give you a way out of the temptations in your life (I Corinthians 10:13).

The Internet can be a huge blessing of resources to families. Don't allow it to be something that will destroy yours.