An amazing fact is that any couple that together wants to grow their marriage can take their relationship to another level. Sometimes couples want to improve their marriage themselves but don't always know how to get started. The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center has published a list of ten tips you can use to strengthen your marriage:
1. Spend Time with Each Other - Simply stated, married partners need time with each other in order to grow strong together. Plan regularly scheduled date nights and weekend activities. Forget the "quality vs. quantity time" discussion--healthy marriages need both.
2. Learn To Negotiate Conflict - Conflict is a normal part of a relationship. There is a point however when it can increase in in intensity and become emotionally and sometimes physically unsafe. There are many resources available to help you learn how to deal with conflict more effectively.
3. Show Respect for Each Other at All Times - Treating your partner as you would like to be treated will do a lot to strengthen the bond between you. Research shows that nothing can damage a relationship quicker than criticisms and put-downs. Paying your partner a compliment is a quick and easy way to show them respect.
4. Learn About Yourself First - Many partners enter into relationships without knowing enough about themselves. As a result they can also have difficulty learning about their partners. Imagine the intimacy you will share over a lifetime together if you commit to discovering new things about yourselves and each other!
5. Explore Intimacy - This does not always mean sexuality. An often forgotten aspect of intimacy is the emotional type. Learn the difference between emotional and physical intimacy and when each one is most appropriate.
6. Explore Common Interests - Doing things separately is not bad at all but common interests are important to healthy marriages. A common interest may be cooking or eating new foods together, going for walks or playing cards. The goal is to have something outside of your family that you both enjoy.
7. Create a Spiritual Connection - Growing together spiritually may the most important bond that you can create together as a couple. Learning how to pray together is a very intimate and binding experience.
8. Improve Your Communication Skills - You should never assume your partner knows what you are thinking or feeling. Tell your spouse what is going on--and as a spouse, know when to simply listen.
9. Forgive Each Other - If he or she hasn't already, your partner is going to do something that hurts, frustrates or upsets you. Guess what, you are going to do the same thing! Try to allow your partner some room to make a few mistakes. When you make a mistake, act quickly to apologize and fix problems.
10. Look for the Best in Each Other - When you met your partner, you fell in love with some of his or her wonderful qualities. Over time your view of those qualities may have changed. Create a list of all the things you love about your partner. It will help you to fall in love all over again!
David Jones, a Certified Family Life Educator and author of a variety of relationship tools for fathers, contributed to this tip sheet. These tips are designed to assist couples in improving their relationships; however, they are not meant to be a substitute for professional help and advice.
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