(from Kellie) When speaking of traditional nuclear families, the family literally begins with the relationship between a husband and wife. After the first child comes along, it's easy for this man and woman (now parents) to turn all of their attention and energy toward the rearing of their precious little one. The marriage relationship begins to be less of a priority, getting placed on the back burner. As the family grows, more time and effort are given to raising the children, and the love relationship that started the family in the first place easily loses its rank. This is what's known as a "kid-centric" family--the family that places the wants and needs of the children above the wants and needs of the marriage.
One might think this is the logical way to steer a family ... after all, we only have our kids with us for a relatively short time, then they're gone. Shouldn't we devote all we can to them? Unfortunately, it is all too common for empty nest parents to look at one another after the last child has left home and say, "Who are you?" Many husbands and wives feel they don't have the right to put themselves first occasionally by pursuing each other romantically. Dating goes by the wayside, and usually intimacy and even friendship follow. Couples end up feeling like roommates who love their children.
I don't think this is what God has in mind for marriage. I believe children feel most secure when they see their parents loving one another, prioritizing their love relationship. A happy marriage is one of the richest gifts we can give our children. It gives them a sense of strength to know they can rely on their parents' marriage, especially in a culture where divorce is so common. This is what's known as a "marriage-centric" family. Rather than the kids being the hub of the wheel, it's now Mom and Dad. After all, the relationship that got the family started in the first place will hopefully be the relationship that continues long after the kids have grown and have gone off and started their own families. What good would it do to raise wonderful children, and lose our marriage along the way?